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Raw 1003

August 13, 2012 Leave a comment

Alright, so we open up the show with two of the WWE title match contenders, the reigning champion CM Punk vs the Big Show, going one on one. Gotta wonder how this is going to work out. I’m wondering if there’s a point to the WWE champion always opening the show right now. I’m assuming that ties into the storyline. Anyway, on tot he match. As you should expect, Big Show is pretty dominate. CM Punk sorta had the early advantage but a headbutt from Show turns that around. And then it’s all show overpowering Punk. Oh, and here’s a twist, Bryan is insane and interrupting the match, sorta. Not actually dealing with the competitors, he just let his music, came out and talked to the announcer’s about how he shouldn’t be wrestling kane, but be in the WWE title. then says he’ll prove it by making punk tap and attacks him. Out comes cena to clear the ring, and then AJ to make a tag match with show and bryan vs cena and punk. Yeah, we all know that’s not gonna work. But punk laid cena and show out first, then show laid out punk and cena, so it’s cena’s turn to lay out the other two, i predict.

Oops, turned the channel and missed JTG coming out. If he spoke, I don’t know what he said, nor do I care. But here comes Ryback. Time for a squash. Yep, maybe JTG should STFU on twitter. Just a thought, but all that bitching on twitter is going to lead to you jobbing on twitter guy. Another note, Ryback’s eyes are exceptionally red. Is it just me, or does he look high?

Next, slater gets beat by truth, and truth gets beat down by whoever their number one contenders are because kofi is in japan

woops, distracted again, by gaia this time. anyway, flashback to sheamus and del rio from smackdown, with del rio ambushing sheamus and booker stripping him of his title match. then sin cara vs tensai, which cara wins after a ddt and tensai attacks his manager or whatever. yawn

now it’s piper’s pit with whoever fans voted in. Can’t say as i care. All three will probably wind up out there so who the hell cares. But jericho is voted in and he comes out. can i just mention this segment is bound to bore the hell out of me for most of it until some people get dropped. and here comes ziggler. seriously, i can’t possibly get any more bored with this. can someone throw a punch? nope, here comes the miz. a whole lot of people not shutting the hell up and getting off the screen, or at least doing something interesting. oh, jericho finally clears the ring. Great, are they going away now? I’ve been entertained by Jericho lately, but this was boring.

oh gods, it’s not done. now a triple threat match between the three to see who can win the big one. double teaming to jericho to open. not surprising, but jericho pulls ahead. Alot of back and forth. Not a horrible match, and not a short one either. in the end, vickie helps dolph win. eh, saw that coming. kinda wonder if jericho will get the win at summerslam.

Finally got to see the promo for wade barrett’s return. Nice promo.

Back now to a divas tag match, Layla and Kaitlyn vs Eve torres and beth phoenix. Kaitlyn and Layla don’t look so bad in the ring, not bad at all. Kaitlyn I haven’t watched as much but she clearly has more talent than WWE lets her show off. and kaitlyn pins beth for the win. shocking.

more lesnar triple h hype. blah.

the big tag match is up next. Cena starts off with bryan. he and punk have this one upsmanship thing going. Bryan refuses to tag show in until show finally tags himself in and starts dominating. a lot of back and forth. i like how Punk is supposed to be heel and still gets cheered. in the end, punk bails, cena pins bryan. show comes to attack, punk blasts show with the title and lets cena walk. Ok, not how i thought that would go. Punk promos about teaching everyone about respect. Eh, the match was what it was. Kinda want to know where the hell is kane.

sandow vs christian is up next. seriously, what the hell did christian do to get the burial he’s getting? I think he’s proven himself enough of a draw to be used better. Instead, he loses, even after brodus comes out with a distraction, he loses. WTF, dude? Ugh, whatever

Next up, the Lesnar and triple h contract signing. HBK is there but Triple H isn’t. How much am I going to hate this segment? Anyway, Lesnar and Heyman are out first to start talking. Well, Heyman is talking. A lot of trash talk. Damn, HBK is out. Was totally hoping this wasn’t going to go down. But i guess it makes things more personal. Just doesn’t sit well. HBK stood up to the undertaker, but can’t stand up to lesnar? I mean seriously. He’s been in the ring with the stiffest competitors of all time in vader, sid, and goldberg, but he’s supposed to get beat down by lesnar? oh, might have spoken too soon. Triple H is here. Way to troll me, guys. Bravo. Gotta love the game for his insistence on trolling the internet fans. Anyway, this crowd is solidly behind Triple H and HBK, meaning lesnar has finally drawn that old heel heat. Well, they just signed the contract. And lesnar ducked out of the ring. I still can’t call this match. A lot of reports have said Triple H is definitely winning. But I don’t know. I think they’re going to troll us all until the end.

heh, i was right. HBK gets attacked in the garage. But here’s where it gets dumb. Lesnar brings him back to the ring to F-5 him and lock in the kimura. And supposedly broke his arm. This was fucking stupid. seriously. And there’s of course no referees, no security, nothing. It ends with HBK writhing in pain, and Triple H begging Lesnar to get back in the ring but lesnar refusing. These three hour raws are getting rather weak. My problem with this is not that Lesnar attacked HBK, by the way. I expected that. My problem is the lack of logic. So HBK is supposed to be afraid of brock lesnar. Sure, he was a UFC world champ, but hell, HBK has been in the ring with ken shamrock so who the fuck cares? HBK was always the guy that never knew how big or how small he really was. He fought everyone that came at him. So playing like he was in any way afraid of lesnar was dumb as hell. Second, during Lesnar’s first run, Shawn Superkicked the crap out of him. and lesnar actually looked intimidating then. right now, he looks sickly, compared to his old form. He’s bigger than when he first came back, but he still doesn’t look completely in shape again. That disease he had that forced him to retire from UFC must be kicking his ass. Third, he attacks him in his car, right, but then drags him all the way back to the ring to break his arm. Why not leave him in the lot, you know, before you could conceivably be caught? Ugh, whatever. Point now, this raw pretty much sucked. I’ll still try to watch summerslam though, just to see if Triple H wins as the internet claims, or if lesnar comes out on top instead. After all, the internet isn’t the best source for information all the time.

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Categories: Wrestling Tags: , ,

Raw 1002

August 6, 2012 Leave a comment

They’ve made it so easy to keep track of raw now. I can keep up with the numbers. Just in case you’re wondering, I generally don’t bother to watch smackdown. I read the spoilers because it’s rarely worth actually watching. The spoilers tell all. Anyway, on to the show.

AJ is out first to announce matches for the night. Big Show vs Orton (gods shoot me that’s gonna suck) and Daniel Bryan vs Cena. Zoned out for a minute and then CM Punk to complain. Then out comes Cena. Highlights of the conversation here: Punk feels disrespected. Cena says he needs to fight for respect like he does. Whole lot of crap I don’t care about. Then out comes Show and AJ finally tells everyone to shut up. Next, a vote on Punk’s opponent for the first match of the night. Options are the Miz, Kane, or Rey Mysterio. Well, this shit just got predictable

Yep, Rey Mysterio gets it. I might watch this, here and there. I don’t honestly care enough to go into detail on the match, though it’s not bad from what i see….and punk gets hit with the 619 but counters the top rope splash and hits a Go2Sleep for the win. And now I’m struggling, again, to understand why i give a crap what Del Rio does. Oh, he has a nice car tonight? Great, it’s clearly a rental and even if i wasn’t cars don’t make him any less bland.

I missed something, but somehow Christian vs Del Rio is next. Have to check on that later. Pretty sure it wasn’t that relevant, and I’m pretty sure Christian is about to lose this match. So I care even less. Christian taps and frankly that was just horrible. Best part of this, is the following segment where Sheamus steals Del Rio’s car. That was funny.

sidenote, I have twitter up at the same time, and I find it amusing that Shad, from Cryme Tyme, is tweeting and trying to get bring back cryme tyme trending. Really? So, you need a job now? The irony is, you’ve been bashing the hell out of WWE since you left on twitter. But ok. I wouldn’t mind seeing it. I never understood why they broke that team up.

Orton and Big Show is up next. This brings up the question of whether Orton will lose so soon after returning or if he’ll pin show and be added to the WWE title match. Rather hope not but it’s possible. So far, Big Show is dominating….Wow, a double count out. Didn’t see that coming. Still, I wonder if Orton will get added to the Summerslam title match. And Show gets dumb by putting Orton back into the ring and of course gets an RKO.

and now it’s a ryback handicap match apparently. Do i really need to tell you who won?

oh wow here’s a pointless tag match. Primo and epico vs darren young and titus oneil. With this blabbermouth on a mic. I question why he has a job. He’s rather useless. Always has been. And Darren just looked exceptionally queer with that weird little dance or whatever it is he just did. Need someone to tell WWE that AW is taking away from the match. Darren and titus attempt to skip out, and the tag champs come out to block their escape. And primo and epico get the win, which does make sense.  And now we have clips of Sandow. Gotta say, I don’t really believe the beatdown on clay but i don’t believe clay is a funkasaurus either. Apparently, the two go one on one next.

The only reason i approve of clay is for the girls, and Sandow just ruined that for me. Bastard attacked Brodus on the ramp, which means, i see less of the girls. Fucker. Anyway, AJ is backstage with Daniel Bryan. Funny stuff here with those two. Folks swore Bryan had no personality. Looks like you just have to get him with the right person. Bryan has a match with Kane at Summerslam. Little trade of the yes and no chants makes for a few laughs for me.

Oh there’s actually a divas match this week. Kelly Kelly vs eve Torres. Yeah, this could have been left off the card for all I care.  Michael cole actually makes this less watchable. Wait, he makes everything less watchable….why the hell is this match still going on? God I’d kill for one more Lita run. Kelly wins with a horrible hurricarana roll up. Simply horrible. Seriously, WWE, I don’t care what you have to give lita and trish to come back full time, you should do it and let them really fly the way they always did, no holding back. It would certainly make me watch the division again. Shawn Michaels is back next, and I hesitate to watch this due to rumors Brock is going to attack him. I don’t feel that’s really necessary but whatever.

Shawn back for a promo, and it seems the feeling is right since lesnar it out to interrupt. Damn it. Well, triple h came out early. So i guess HBK won’t be getting beat down tonight. Honestly, the build to this hasn’t been horrible. I still can’t see who WWE will let win this one. Oh wait, maybe that attack will still happen later tonight. FML. Lesnar says he’ll see HBK before summerslam. Well whatever works.

Alex Riley in the ring, apparently, to face dolph ziggler. Apparently ziggler thinks he’s Ric Flair. Bitch just strutted in the ring. Wow I though Riley would lose and thanks to jericho interference he actually got his first win in forever. Sadly, it’s not helping him get over. But hey maybe he’ll get someonewhere again. Next up is Kane vs Miz.

This match is not going to be great. Look who’s in it. The Miz. But I shall watch in hopes of seeing Kane chokeslam him to hell… Oh thank god Kane won. Nice chokeslam. I don’t like Miz but he can sell certain moves very well. And next is apparently Daniel Bryan vs John Cena. This is gonna be a long match unless there’s something else planned tonight that they didn’t tell us about.

I’m pretty sure the ending to this won’t be conclusive. Some nice counters from Bryan in this match. Surprised that he’s allowed to use the diving headbutt in the same fashion as Chris Benoit used it. Countered the AA into a guillotine. Countered the STF into an attempted Crossface (fuck all these extra names. that move is always the crossface to me. Fuck WWE for screwing with history). In the end, Cena wins clean with the AA, which shocks me. And Punk comes out to cut the celebration short. Show runs out, Cena gets dumb again and goes for Show instead of Punk. Goes for an AA and Punk lays them both out. Gets on the mic and talks some about people disrespecting him. Gets back in the ring and goes to kick Show’s head off, only for Show to catch it and give him that knockout punch. and for good measure Show knocks Cena out as well. Raw ends with Show posing with the WWE title.

Clearly WWE is going to have a hard time with this new three hour thing. They now have an extra hour to make us sit and scratch our heads wondering what the fuck creative is smoking. But it does have some good points. Some solid matches these days between Cena, Punk, and Bryan’s matches. AJ is definitely the most interesting of the divas now. Kane has gotten a bit of a burst of life in his career now. Still could use some more dominance but at least he’s on TV every week. Sheamus switches well from funny Irishman to tough Irish bastard. Still enough to watch and blog about it next week

Categories: Wrestling

Raw 1001

July 30, 2012 Leave a comment

Opening the show is CM Punk, after a hype video. Nice promo, valid points. And personally, I’m quite happy that he attacked Dwayne. Promo directed at lawler for his closing words last week, so an interesting spin. Out comes show to point out he saved Punk’s title and to vow to be the next champion. Cena follows for a quick and predictable brawl, then AJ is out to announce Show vs Cena with the winner facing punk at Summerslam. Not a bad opening really.

Oh god alberto del rio is on his way to the ring now to face santino marella. No offense, but I’m turning this crap.

Turned it back and it was still going on. I’m failing to understand the point behind it. Oh and there goes that armbar. That match was horrible. nothing you can have del rio do will actually impress me. Every time I see him, I miss JBL more. OMFG why is he opening his mouth to speak? Shut up. Oh, he’s not competing until Summerslam? Please tell me why I care, Del Rio. Explain it to me. Frankly, I wouldn’t care if you never competed again. But whatever, I suppose someone somewhere actually gives two shits.

Brodus Clay, then Vickie Guerrero out to interrupt. Wtf is the point in this crap? Really, she’s gonna dance? Turning channel. Someone tell me when this segment goes away. It’s already gone to hell. And here’s Damien Sandow (is that how you spell it?). Wow, this guy is truly annoying. And he’s attacking Brodus. Hmm, Brodus selling again. That was rather unexpected. It wasn’t even a brutal attack but brodus is staying down. Hmn, alright. I guess there’ll be more of a point to this later.

Nice flashback to smackdown. I love the direction Jericho is going in. He teeters between heel and face effortlessly now. It’s rather unique.

Segment with Daniel and AJ and it just got pretty win when AJ told him to shut up. And turning his yes chant on him with a no chant is hilarious. And on to flashback of the triple h vs lesnar buildup from last week. Not a bad build up I guess. I’m still trying to figure out who could win this one. Neither seems likely to put the other over. Can’t call it….Sidenote, stephanie mcmahon is still hot.

and now we get to vote on the match type for sheamus and daniel bryan. all three choices are essentially the same but just for kicks I voted for falls count anywhere over no holds barred or a street fight. Too bad street fight wins it. I call interference from del rio though

Frankly, I’m barely paying attention to this match. sheamus is dominating as I’m typing, which is pretty much expected. I turned it, came back, switched control a few times. This is getting a bit long. Not bad, but not memorable either. and Sheamus won. Heh, no del rio attack. Can’t always be right.

Daniel Bryan remains in the ring. Kingston and Truth come out. Daniel kicks little jimmy, which was funny, and even funnier when Truth goes out after the imaginary character. Then the guys in white come out for truth, til AJ comes out and calls Bryan mentally unstable and has them take him out. Hilarious

Ok, now it’s match time. Kofi one on one with Titus Oneil. Question, why the fuck is vince still stuck in the 50s? Can we get rid of the stereotypes for blacks please. Every black guy does not necessarily like rap or the thug type lifestyle. Abraham Washington is still annoying. Could stand to put a muzzle on him. But he serves a purpose, I suppose. Neither titus nor darren young can talk apparently. and he distracts Kofi to give titus the win. God their music sucks. and so did his finisher. It’s a sitout spinebuster. Only Arn Anderson could make me believe any form of spinebuster is a finisher. And now I see why Titus doesn’t talk. He really shouldn’t.

Backstage segment with Punk talking to Cena. So, Punk is supposed to be heel, right? so why is he the only person on the roster saying stuff I want to hear. Kinda funny how he points out he did to Dwayne what Cena couldn’t do in a year, knock him out. But now it’s on to the next match, segment, whatever.

Damn, I was hoping to be done with heath slater. Never understood how he has a job still. Anyway, another challenge, this time to any current star. And Oh joy orton is back and for some reason shaved his face again. yeah, grow it back. You look awkward. And who told you the mohawk look was in? Stop listening to your uber gay fans. Let one of the normal gays tell you about fashion sense. Mainly, mohawks are a no go. I don’t know who told you and taker they were a good look but they aren’t. Especially not on you. Seriously you look strange. Anyway, as far as the match goes, clotheslines, powerslam, then the DDT and RKO. Again why does heath slater have a job still? Oh yeah, wrestling has to have jobbers.

Um, the next segment with Bryan and a doctor (clearly an actor) is a whole pause moment. Another chance for a yes chant.

Finally the tag match, jericho teams with christian against dolph ziggler and the miz. I’m gonna watch this for jericho, to be honest. This was really solid. Jericho and Christian have been tag partners before and they have styles that are similar and work well, even after all these years. Nice back and forth, with jericho pinning miz to win. and then the after match assault by ziggler to jericho. Which was weak as hell. I’m supposed to believe that kept jericho down. WTF. Can no one blindside people believably anymore? Ugh, I’m reconsidering watching next week.

oh the bryan segment continues. This is retarded but mildly funny.

tensai/atrain/albert up next against tyson kidd. funny how he’s called kidd and he’s in his thirties i hear. But anyway, on to the match. I’m not a tensai fan in any incarnation. He’s an average wrestler at best and no gimmick has made him any better. He’s got some power, but at his size if he didn’t i’d question what’s wrong with the world. and kidd loses. Then the after match assault to get the decision overturned and he takes out his manager.

the bryan segment comes to a conclusion when the doc says bryan is stable. Bryan says he knew he was sane and red light comes over the room before kane grabs him by the throat. says he’s the anger management counselor and tosses him around, then leaves. I laughed.

The main event is next with punk doing commentary. Pretty sure this will end in a double DQ or something like that. Do i really need to give detail on this? big Show dominates the early part. cena mounts a little offense, with a sleeper hold of all things. Switches back to show for most of the match with brief spurts from cena. and in the end i was right and there’s a triple threat for summerslam. punk vs cena vs show. Great, now it’s over and I’m not nearly as impressed. Not horrible, but not great either.

Categories: Wrestling Tags: , ,

RAW 1000 (Wrestling)

July 23, 2012 Leave a comment

Yeah, since I have a broad range of tastes, and this is a big night in wrestling history, I figured I’d blog all my thoughts as they come to me. New start time, now a three hour show, so let’s start from the beginning

I liked the opening video. Nice blend of old school and new. And a few laughable moments too.

Vince Mcmahon to open the show (could have sworn for the past few weeks they told us DX was going to open the show)…..oh wait, here they come. Why the hell is Vince Mcmahon introducing them? Give me some continuity here. Ah whatever. First out are the two originals, missing Chyna because sadly she chose to do porn. After a bit of comedy, we get the rest, Xpac and the new age outlaws. Which made me quite happy. After some banter and an amusing playful argument over who would do the second half of the catchphrase, out comes Damien Sandow. Not who i expected to interrupt but he did his part i.e eating a superkick from shawn and a pedigree from HHH. Amusing, not over the top amusing like their 90s antics but amusing nonetheless.

After the break, we get the return of good ol’ JR (please make michael cole shut the hell up for the rest of the show, or at least not be as much of a douche). And Rey Mysterio out for the first match. And teaming with Sin Cara? There’s a shock. And sheamus rounds out the three man team. Against Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler, and Alberto Del Rio. So, i question the point of this match. Two teammates can’t stand each other at the moment. Could be predictable with Y2J turning n Ziggler to cause him to be pinned by the babyface team. Or they could brawl and leave del rio to get his head kicked off. Or they could work together to win. Which of the three shall happen…..apparently Ziggler turned first, causing Jericho to lose the match for their team. Not a horrible match, but not particularly memorable

Wait, where in the hell is JR? Why did he come out to call a total crap match? If he was going to come call one match, couldn’t we have gotten him for the main event? Ugh, and now this stupid tout crap, which I hope dies quickly. And more hype for this wedding thing that honestly better be a fail segment. If anything, I should see someone get clocked, planted, set on fire, chokeslammed, something.

Ok, backstage segment. Layla, the Divas Champion, talking with AJ, the most over female on the roster currently. An appearance by jim duggan, r truth and roddy piper, and then Mae young and her son (a guy dressed in a hand costume). PAUSE!!!! What the hell? WWE is still acknowledging the fail storyline where Mark Henry had a baby with Mae Young and it was a hand? I know I asked for continuity but wow.

Oh dear god it’s another Brodus clay match, this time against jack swagger. The best thing about him are the two chicks that come out with him. They’re hot and I can totally deal with watching them dance. OK, now it became more win. Dude Love is back in Brodus Clay’s corner. Oh wow the match is over. Who cares? We knew Brodus would win. Now Dude love dancing with Brodus and Swagger gets the mandible claw with the tie dye sock. Followed by a chuckle worthy segment with Triple H and Trish, a flashback to the segment where Triple H was showing Trish moves back in the day and had her bent over when Stephanie walked in. However, Stephanie didn’t walk in on this one and Trish wasn’t bent over, Triple H was. DX did. Still worth a chuckle. A lot of back door references and a weird moment with Trish and X Pac

Oh and now we’re to the wedding. sadly, no one has crashed it yet. I always hate these segments. Best one was Kane and Lita, only because Kane chokeslammed the crap out of Matt Hardy. Anyway, back to this crap. Apparently AJ is not going through with the wedding. And AJ is the new general manager of Raw. Hope she still gets ring time. Either way, I can live with that. It was totally unexpected for Vince to interrupt the wedding and make AJ the new GM, but I like less predictable

Back from commercial and Daniel Bryan hasn’t left the ring. He’s screaming, No, No, No! and out comes CM Punk. Rubs it in. Daniel says he greatest of all time and for some reason Dwayne (The Rock but hell he’s not the same so let’s use the right name) comes out and not Austin. FML. Some random crap and Dwayne has a title shot at the Royal Rumble. Rock Bottom to Bryan and it’s over, thankfully

Bret Hart is out next. and now the IC title, Christian against the Miz. And FML again the Miz won.

and now triple h is out to call out lesnar. here comes stephanie and OMG does she look great. Some barbs are thrown, and Triple H gets his match at summerslam. And a brawl with lesnar which triple h comes out on top.

now some useless filler with videogame crap and a flashback. God i hope they find more to do with this new three hour RAW. and now something with santino. and heath slater. and LITA!!!!!!!!!!! LITA TOOK THE CHALLENGE. And with a bit of help from the APA and the legends, she nails a twist of fate and a moonsault to get the win over slater.

another few segements i don’t care about. Dwayne and Cena backstage segment.

THE BROTHER’S OF DESTRUCTION REUNITE! Cleaning house on a bunch of folks I don’t care about. I was definitely pleased with this. I could have turned the channel and been happy with this alone. All my favorites have shown up. Lita, Trish, Bret, Shawn, Kane and the Undertaker. I’m pretty ecstatic. But there’s still the main event to go. Cena vs Punk for the WWE title. I’m predicting Big Show interferes and Punk retains to set up a triple threat at Summerslam, or a four way with daniel bryan.

the main event turned out different than i thought. slower match, and interference from the big show after a ref bump. punk tries really late to capitalize, cena kicks out. cena counters to the go 2 sleep into the STF. Big show breaks it up for the DQ and mauls Cena. Dwayne comes out and takes out the big show. Then cena takes Dwayne out with a clothesline and a go 2 sleep. I for one, was happy with that. The crowd not so much. For me, this was a solid show all the way through. The vignettes in some cases were worthless but overall, this is the best raw i’ve seen in ages. I marked so hard for Lita and the Undertaker. This is to be expected. I’m a mark for them. Now I can finally go to sleep

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