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Raw 1003

Alright, so we open up the show with two of the WWE title match contenders, the reigning champion CM Punk vs the Big Show, going one on one. Gotta wonder how this is going to work out. I’m wondering if there’s a point to the WWE champion always opening the show right now. I’m assuming that ties into the storyline. Anyway, on tot he match. As you should expect, Big Show is pretty dominate. CM Punk sorta had the early advantage but a headbutt from Show turns that around. And then it’s all show overpowering Punk. Oh, and here’s a twist, Bryan is insane and interrupting the match, sorta. Not actually dealing with the competitors, he just let his music, came out and talked to the announcer’s about how he shouldn’t be wrestling kane, but be in the WWE title. then says he’ll prove it by making punk tap and attacks him. Out comes cena to clear the ring, and then AJ to make a tag match with show and bryan vs cena and punk. Yeah, we all know that’s not gonna work. But punk laid cena and show out first, then show laid out punk and cena, so it’s cena’s turn to lay out the other two, i predict.

Oops, turned the channel and missed JTG coming out. If he spoke, I don’t know what he said, nor do I care. But here comes Ryback. Time for a squash. Yep, maybe JTG should STFU on twitter. Just a thought, but all that bitching on twitter is going to lead to you jobbing on twitter guy. Another note, Ryback’s eyes are exceptionally red. Is it just me, or does he look high?

Next, slater gets beat by truth, and truth gets beat down by whoever their number one contenders are because kofi is in japan

woops, distracted again, by gaia this time. anyway, flashback to sheamus and del rio from smackdown, with del rio ambushing sheamus and booker stripping him of his title match. then sin cara vs tensai, which cara wins after a ddt and tensai attacks his manager or whatever. yawn

now it’s piper’s pit with whoever fans voted in. Can’t say as i care. All three will probably wind up out there so who the hell cares. But jericho is voted in and he comes out. can i just mention this segment is bound to bore the hell out of me for most of it until some people get dropped. and here comes ziggler. seriously, i can’t possibly get any more bored with this. can someone throw a punch? nope, here comes the miz. a whole lot of people not shutting the hell up and getting off the screen, or at least doing something interesting. oh, jericho finally clears the ring. Great, are they going away now? I’ve been entertained by Jericho lately, but this was boring.

oh gods, it’s not done. now a triple threat match between the three to see who can win the big one. double teaming to jericho to open. not surprising, but jericho pulls ahead. Alot of back and forth. Not a horrible match, and not a short one either. in the end, vickie helps dolph win. eh, saw that coming. kinda wonder if jericho will get the win at summerslam.

Finally got to see the promo for wade barrett’s return. Nice promo.

Back now to a divas tag match, Layla and Kaitlyn vs Eve torres and beth phoenix. Kaitlyn and Layla don’t look so bad in the ring, not bad at all. Kaitlyn I haven’t watched as much but she clearly has more talent than WWE lets her show off. and kaitlyn pins beth for the win. shocking.

more lesnar triple h hype. blah.

the big tag match is up next. Cena starts off with bryan. he and punk have this one upsmanship thing going. Bryan refuses to tag show in until show finally tags himself in and starts dominating. a lot of back and forth. i like how Punk is supposed to be heel and still gets cheered. in the end, punk bails, cena pins bryan. show comes to attack, punk blasts show with the title and lets cena walk. Ok, not how i thought that would go. Punk promos about teaching everyone about respect. Eh, the match was what it was. Kinda want to know where the hell is kane.

sandow vs christian is up next. seriously, what the hell did christian do to get the burial he’s getting? I think he’s proven himself enough of a draw to be used better. Instead, he loses, even after brodus comes out with a distraction, he loses. WTF, dude? Ugh, whatever

Next up, the Lesnar and triple h contract signing. HBK is there but Triple H isn’t. How much am I going to hate this segment? Anyway, Lesnar and Heyman are out first to start talking. Well, Heyman is talking. A lot of trash talk. Damn, HBK is out. Was totally hoping this wasn’t going to go down. But i guess it makes things more personal. Just doesn’t sit well. HBK stood up to the undertaker, but can’t stand up to lesnar? I mean seriously. He’s been in the ring with the stiffest competitors of all time in vader, sid, and goldberg, but he’s supposed to get beat down by lesnar? oh, might have spoken too soon. Triple H is here. Way to troll me, guys. Bravo. Gotta love the game for his insistence on trolling the internet fans. Anyway, this crowd is solidly behind Triple H and HBK, meaning lesnar has finally drawn that old heel heat. Well, they just signed the contract. And lesnar ducked out of the ring. I still can’t call this match. A lot of reports have said Triple H is definitely winning. But I don’t know. I think they’re going to troll us all until the end.

heh, i was right. HBK gets attacked in the garage. But here’s where it gets dumb. Lesnar brings him back to the ring to F-5 him and lock in the kimura. And supposedly broke his arm. This was fucking stupid. seriously. And there’s of course no referees, no security, nothing. It ends with HBK writhing in pain, and Triple H begging Lesnar to get back in the ring but lesnar refusing. These three hour raws are getting rather weak. My problem with this is not that Lesnar attacked HBK, by the way. I expected that. My problem is the lack of logic. So HBK is supposed to be afraid of brock lesnar. Sure, he was a UFC world champ, but hell, HBK has been in the ring with ken shamrock so who the fuck cares? HBK was always the guy that never knew how big or how small he really was. He fought everyone that came at him. So playing like he was in any way afraid of lesnar was dumb as hell. Second, during Lesnar’s first run, Shawn Superkicked the crap out of him. and lesnar actually looked intimidating then. right now, he looks sickly, compared to his old form. He’s bigger than when he first came back, but he still doesn’t look completely in shape again. That disease he had that forced him to retire from UFC must be kicking his ass. Third, he attacks him in his car, right, but then drags him all the way back to the ring to break his arm. Why not leave him in the lot, you know, before you could conceivably be caught? Ugh, whatever. Point now, this raw pretty much sucked. I’ll still try to watch summerslam though, just to see if Triple H wins as the internet claims, or if lesnar comes out on top instead. After all, the internet isn’t the best source for information all the time.

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