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Raw 1002

They’ve made it so easy to keep track of raw now. I can keep up with the numbers. Just in case you’re wondering, I generally don’t bother to watch smackdown. I read the spoilers because it’s rarely worth actually watching. The spoilers tell all. Anyway, on to the show.

AJ is out first to announce matches for the night. Big Show vs Orton (gods shoot me that’s gonna suck) and Daniel Bryan vs Cena. Zoned out for a minute and then CM Punk to complain. Then out comes Cena. Highlights of the conversation here: Punk feels disrespected. Cena says he needs to fight for respect like he does. Whole lot of crap I don’t care about. Then out comes Show and AJ finally tells everyone to shut up. Next, a vote on Punk’s opponent for the first match of the night. Options are the Miz, Kane, or Rey Mysterio. Well, this shit just got predictable

Yep, Rey Mysterio gets it. I might watch this, here and there. I don’t honestly care enough to go into detail on the match, though it’s not bad from what i see….and punk gets hit with the 619 but counters the top rope splash and hits a Go2Sleep for the win. And now I’m struggling, again, to understand why i give a crap what Del Rio does. Oh, he has a nice car tonight? Great, it’s clearly a rental and even if i wasn’t cars don’t make him any less bland.

I missed something, but somehow Christian vs Del Rio is next. Have to check on that later. Pretty sure it wasn’t that relevant, and I’m pretty sure Christian is about to lose this match. So I care even less. Christian taps and frankly that was just horrible. Best part of this, is the following segment where Sheamus steals Del Rio’s car. That was funny.

sidenote, I have twitter up at the same time, and I find it amusing that Shad, from Cryme Tyme, is tweeting and trying to get bring back cryme tyme trending. Really? So, you need a job now? The irony is, you’ve been bashing the hell out of WWE since you left on twitter. But ok. I wouldn’t mind seeing it. I never understood why they broke that team up.

Orton and Big Show is up next. This brings up the question of whether Orton will lose so soon after returning or if he’ll pin show and be added to the WWE title match. Rather hope not but it’s possible. So far, Big Show is dominating….Wow, a double count out. Didn’t see that coming. Still, I wonder if Orton will get added to the Summerslam title match. And Show gets dumb by putting Orton back into the ring and of course gets an RKO.

and now it’s a ryback handicap match apparently. Do i really need to tell you who won?

oh wow here’s a pointless tag match. Primo and epico vs darren young and titus oneil. With this blabbermouth on a mic. I question why he has a job. He’s rather useless. Always has been. And Darren just looked exceptionally queer with that weird little dance or whatever it is he just did. Need someone to tell WWE that AW is taking away from the match. Darren and titus attempt to skip out, and the tag champs come out to block their escape. And primo and epico get the win, which does make sense.  And now we have clips of Sandow. Gotta say, I don’t really believe the beatdown on clay but i don’t believe clay is a funkasaurus either. Apparently, the two go one on one next.

The only reason i approve of clay is for the girls, and Sandow just ruined that for me. Bastard attacked Brodus on the ramp, which means, i see less of the girls. Fucker. Anyway, AJ is backstage with Daniel Bryan. Funny stuff here with those two. Folks swore Bryan had no personality. Looks like you just have to get him with the right person. Bryan has a match with Kane at Summerslam. Little trade of the yes and no chants makes for a few laughs for me.

Oh there’s actually a divas match this week. Kelly Kelly vs eve Torres. Yeah, this could have been left off the card for all I care.  Michael cole actually makes this less watchable. Wait, he makes everything less watchable….why the hell is this match still going on? God I’d kill for one more Lita run. Kelly wins with a horrible hurricarana roll up. Simply horrible. Seriously, WWE, I don’t care what you have to give lita and trish to come back full time, you should do it and let them really fly the way they always did, no holding back. It would certainly make me watch the division again. Shawn Michaels is back next, and I hesitate to watch this due to rumors Brock is going to attack him. I don’t feel that’s really necessary but whatever.

Shawn back for a promo, and it seems the feeling is right since lesnar it out to interrupt. Damn it. Well, triple h came out early. So i guess HBK won’t be getting beat down tonight. Honestly, the build to this hasn’t been horrible. I still can’t see who WWE will let win this one. Oh wait, maybe that attack will still happen later tonight. FML. Lesnar says he’ll see HBK before summerslam. Well whatever works.

Alex Riley in the ring, apparently, to face dolph ziggler. Apparently ziggler thinks he’s Ric Flair. Bitch just strutted in the ring. Wow I though Riley would lose and thanks to jericho interference he actually got his first win in forever. Sadly, it’s not helping him get over. But hey maybe he’ll get someonewhere again. Next up is Kane vs Miz.

This match is not going to be great. Look who’s in it. The Miz. But I shall watch in hopes of seeing Kane chokeslam him to hell… Oh thank god Kane won. Nice chokeslam. I don’t like Miz but he can sell certain moves very well. And next is apparently Daniel Bryan vs John Cena. This is gonna be a long match unless there’s something else planned tonight that they didn’t tell us about.

I’m pretty sure the ending to this won’t be conclusive. Some nice counters from Bryan in this match. Surprised that he’s allowed to use the diving headbutt in the same fashion as Chris Benoit used it. Countered the AA into a guillotine. Countered the STF into an attempted Crossface (fuck all these extra names. that move is always the crossface to me. Fuck WWE for screwing with history). In the end, Cena wins clean with the AA, which shocks me. And Punk comes out to cut the celebration short. Show runs out, Cena gets dumb again and goes for Show instead of Punk. Goes for an AA and Punk lays them both out. Gets on the mic and talks some about people disrespecting him. Gets back in the ring and goes to kick Show’s head off, only for Show to catch it and give him that knockout punch. and for good measure Show knocks Cena out as well. Raw ends with Show posing with the WWE title.

Clearly WWE is going to have a hard time with this new three hour thing. They now have an extra hour to make us sit and scratch our heads wondering what the fuck creative is smoking. But it does have some good points. Some solid matches these days between Cena, Punk, and Bryan’s matches. AJ is definitely the most interesting of the divas now. Kane has gotten a bit of a burst of life in his career now. Still could use some more dominance but at least he’s on TV every week. Sheamus switches well from funny Irishman to tough Irish bastard. Still enough to watch and blog about it next week

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