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Raw 1001

Opening the show is CM Punk, after a hype video. Nice promo, valid points. And personally, I’m quite happy that he attacked Dwayne. Promo directed at lawler for his closing words last week, so an interesting spin. Out comes show to point out he saved Punk’s title and to vow to be the next champion. Cena follows for a quick and predictable brawl, then AJ is out to announce Show vs Cena with the winner facing punk at Summerslam. Not a bad opening really.

Oh god alberto del rio is on his way to the ring now to face santino marella. No offense, but I’m turning this crap.

Turned it back and it was still going on. I’m failing to understand the point behind it. Oh and there goes that armbar. That match was horrible. nothing you can have del rio do will actually impress me. Every time I see him, I miss JBL more. OMFG why is he opening his mouth to speak? Shut up. Oh, he’s not competing until Summerslam? Please tell me why I care, Del Rio. Explain it to me. Frankly, I wouldn’t care if you never competed again. But whatever, I suppose someone somewhere actually gives two shits.

Brodus Clay, then Vickie Guerrero out to interrupt. Wtf is the point in this crap? Really, she’s gonna dance? Turning channel. Someone tell me when this segment goes away. It’s already gone to hell. And here’s Damien Sandow (is that how you spell it?). Wow, this guy is truly annoying. And he’s attacking Brodus. Hmm, Brodus selling again. That was rather unexpected. It wasn’t even a brutal attack but brodus is staying down. Hmn, alright. I guess there’ll be more of a point to this later.

Nice flashback to smackdown. I love the direction Jericho is going in. He teeters between heel and face effortlessly now. It’s rather unique.

Segment with Daniel and AJ and it just got pretty win when AJ told him to shut up. And turning his yes chant on him with a no chant is hilarious. And on to flashback of the triple h vs lesnar buildup from last week. Not a bad build up I guess. I’m still trying to figure out who could win this one. Neither seems likely to put the other over. Can’t call it….Sidenote, stephanie mcmahon is still hot.

and now we get to vote on the match type for sheamus and daniel bryan. all three choices are essentially the same but just for kicks I voted for falls count anywhere over no holds barred or a street fight. Too bad street fight wins it. I call interference from del rio though

Frankly, I’m barely paying attention to this match. sheamus is dominating as I’m typing, which is pretty much expected. I turned it, came back, switched control a few times. This is getting a bit long. Not bad, but not memorable either. and Sheamus won. Heh, no del rio attack. Can’t always be right.

Daniel Bryan remains in the ring. Kingston and Truth come out. Daniel kicks little jimmy, which was funny, and even funnier when Truth goes out after the imaginary character. Then the guys in white come out for truth, til AJ comes out and calls Bryan mentally unstable and has them take him out. Hilarious

Ok, now it’s match time. Kofi one on one with Titus Oneil. Question, why the fuck is vince still stuck in the 50s? Can we get rid of the stereotypes for blacks please. Every black guy does not necessarily like rap or the thug type lifestyle. Abraham Washington is still annoying. Could stand to put a muzzle on him. But he serves a purpose, I suppose. Neither titus nor darren young can talk apparently. and he distracts Kofi to give titus the win. God their music sucks. and so did his finisher. It’s a sitout spinebuster. Only Arn Anderson could make me believe any form of spinebuster is a finisher. And now I see why Titus doesn’t talk. He really shouldn’t.

Backstage segment with Punk talking to Cena. So, Punk is supposed to be heel, right? so why is he the only person on the roster saying stuff I want to hear. Kinda funny how he points out he did to Dwayne what Cena couldn’t do in a year, knock him out. But now it’s on to the next match, segment, whatever.

Damn, I was hoping to be done with heath slater. Never understood how he has a job still. Anyway, another challenge, this time to any current star. And Oh joy orton is back and for some reason shaved his face again. yeah, grow it back. You look awkward. And who told you the mohawk look was in? Stop listening to your uber gay fans. Let one of the normal gays tell you about fashion sense. Mainly, mohawks are a no go. I don’t know who told you and taker they were a good look but they aren’t. Especially not on you. Seriously you look strange. Anyway, as far as the match goes, clotheslines, powerslam, then the DDT and RKO. Again why does heath slater have a job still? Oh yeah, wrestling has to have jobbers.

Um, the next segment with Bryan and a doctor (clearly an actor) is a whole pause moment. Another chance for a yes chant.

Finally the tag match, jericho teams with christian against dolph ziggler and the miz. I’m gonna watch this for jericho, to be honest. This was really solid. Jericho and Christian have been tag partners before and they have styles that are similar and work well, even after all these years. Nice back and forth, with jericho pinning miz to win. and then the after match assault by ziggler to jericho. Which was weak as hell. I’m supposed to believe that kept jericho down. WTF. Can no one blindside people believably anymore? Ugh, I’m reconsidering watching next week.

oh the bryan segment continues. This is retarded but mildly funny.

tensai/atrain/albert up next against tyson kidd. funny how he’s called kidd and he’s in his thirties i hear. But anyway, on to the match. I’m not a tensai fan in any incarnation. He’s an average wrestler at best and no gimmick has made him any better. He’s got some power, but at his size if he didn’t i’d question what’s wrong with the world. and kidd loses. Then the after match assault to get the decision overturned and he takes out his manager.

the bryan segment comes to a conclusion when the doc says bryan is stable. Bryan says he knew he was sane and red light comes over the room before kane grabs him by the throat. says he’s the anger management counselor and tosses him around, then leaves. I laughed.

The main event is next with punk doing commentary. Pretty sure this will end in a double DQ or something like that. Do i really need to give detail on this? big Show dominates the early part. cena mounts a little offense, with a sleeper hold of all things. Switches back to show for most of the match with brief spurts from cena. and in the end i was right and there’s a triple threat for summerslam. punk vs cena vs show. Great, now it’s over and I’m not nearly as impressed. Not horrible, but not great either.

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