Home > Other > July 14th: Her birthday

July 14th: Her birthday

That date is a bitter sweet date for me. My mood is always unpredictable at best on that date. Why? I lost someone I loved with all my heart who was born on that day. She died on October the 15th, but every year i remember her on both dates.

This date passed a few days ago and I find that the pain of her loss has not dulled with time. I think of her every day, but more so on those dates. There was a time when I would have visited her grave on those dates. The past several years, I have not done so. Two of those years, I was in North Carolina and unable to do so. Now, I simply avoid it. I have not returned to her grave since I came back to St. Louis, and I have no plans to do so. It seems somehow morbid to me, a tradition I never should have started and have now broken.

I like to think i still honor her memory. I remember the songs we used to sing to each other. I listen to songs I never liked but she loved and smile because they remind me of her. I feel her presence every now and then and I remember that special love, my first love. I remember that how she loved the idea of my becoming an author, and I continue to work towards that. I feel somewhat at peace, though I will always miss her. And as I sit here typing this five days after the date, I feel the urge to continue to write, to continue on that dream I’ve always had and that she so admired me for. So I shall get to that writing, and each time I put pen to paper, or finger to keys to type in a document, I will think of her again

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